Happy March!! I am stealing an idea from my dear friend, and having a blog contest!
Here is the deal:
I would like to get between 15-20 new followers during the month of March (okay, so I am starting a little early…I’m really excited!!!). I am giving away free stuff if you help me!! How awesome is that?!
The drawing will be random, but you can put your name in the proverbial hat many times in order to increase your chances of winning…here are the rules:
Follow my blog: Click follow on the side, and let me know in the comments that you are following me.
Share my blog on Facebook or Twitter: You can do this many, many times. And the more you do, the more often your name goes in the pot. So, let me know in the comments when you share me, and whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or both! (or some other social media, such as SheWrites, etc.)
Add my blog to your blog: If you link my blog to your blog, let me know! If I have not already done so, I will add your blog to my “People I follow,” AND put your name in the hat for the winnings!!
Simple, right? Want to know what you are playing for?
I have three gifts I will be giving away:
15 new followers:
1. A $20 gift card to Amazon.com
2. A $20 gift card to Starbucks
3. A $20 iTunes gift card
If I get 20 followers or more by the end of March, I will increase the gift cards to $30!
So, share, share, share…and you may win, win, win!!!
I am divorced. I have been divorced for almost seven years. My ex-husband and I share two children; only one is still a minor. I am remarried. My ex lives with his girlfriend, and they have been in a relationship for a few years, as well. She is divorced and has children. My new husband is divorced, and has children. Neither of our ex-spouses lives in the same state in which we currently reside.
That is the background.
Here is the problem: Our ex-spouses seem hell-bent on harassing us.
It started out simple enough. My new husband, I’ll call him “S,” went through a highly contested divorce with “T,” dealing mainly with financial issues, but a few visitation issues, as well. She wanted the children 100% of the time, and demanded that S fly in to see his children, stay at a hotel, pick the children up after school, spend a couple of hours with them – perhaps have dinner together at a restaurant, and then bring them home. No overnights. No visits to S’s home in another state. Period. End of story.
So, after that failed spectacularly, she started making other demands. When those also failed, she decided to control other aspects of S’s life – most prominently, his new relationship with yours truly. It was subtle at first. She would put my name into Google, and try to find dirt on me. It took a while. The only thing she ever came up with was some type of public notice stating that my storage unit was on the chopping block for non-payment. She then began sending emails and text messages regarding my “inability to pay my debts.” I was appalled! I contacted the storage company immediately, and inquired as to what was happening with my storage unit, and they assured me that everything was fine, it was paid in full, and I was not being evicted.
Phew…
I attempted to explain this to S’s ex, that it was a misunderstanding, and that she should be careful about spreading those types of rumors. Oh, I also told her to stop harassing me, and never contact me directly again. Yea. Because it was going to be that easy. Not so much.
During this period, my ex-husband, apparently felt he was losing control over my life, and the children, and began his own harassment. I won’t go into the various issues, but suffice it to say – he was attempting to initiate trouble between my husband and me. To make matters even worse, over the past three years, our exes have formed an unholy “friendship” by which they information share. Disgusting, huh?
My ex initiated a change in custody, which settled out of court, but not before he insisted that we undergo psychological examinations. For those unaware, the parties sign confidentiality agreements regarding the information contained in the reports. So, imagine my surprise when T began spouting off very specific language from my psych eval. Hmmm, let’s think for a minute…who would have a copy of that report…oh, yes – my ex! Of course, not being the brightest bulb in the pack, T decided not only to include that information in an email to me, she also copied correspondence between herself and my ex-husband’s girlfriend.
Fast forward – I am now cleaning up a mess that my ex and his girlfriend thought would be most hilarious. Without going into great detail, it involved ordering items be sent to my home, and being billed for them. I have spent much time on the phone over the past few months getting it all straightened out. So far, everything they have done can be corrected; but what happens when it is no longer an easy fix? I marvel at the complete immaturity of people in their forties…boggles the mind.
So why do they do it? I mean, after years of being divorced, everyone moving on, why do ex-spouses continue to insert themselves into their former spouses lives? According to Mark Goulston, a California psychiatrist , "You're obviously dealing with an obsessive person who can't let go. When that overtakes them because they're rather immature, immature meaning they can't let it rise and fall, they act on it." It seems to have become an epidemic. Ex-spouses long for greener pastures. They look over the fence, dream of what their lives will be, and then demand it be so. When that does not happen, they cannot deal with it, and strike out. The epidemic is the theme in society lately of “no responsibility for one’s own actions,” followed by “I can do whatever I want, and I will just find someone else to blame for my actions.” My ex-husband is the king of deflection. If he does something, he spends a copious amount of time trying to find a way for it to be my fault. What if, instead of trying to cover his arse after-the-fact, he decided not to harass me in the first place? Wow! Perhaps we could spend our time working together for the good of the children, without the constant contention between us. What. A. Thought.
And what recourse does the victim of this type of harassment have to stop the harassers? Depending on the severity of the harassment, it can include obtaining a harassment restraining order. Just make sure there is evidence with which to build a strong case. The harasser, however, may be able to escape an otherwise clear-cut case of harassment by having someone else actually initiate the harassment, thereby creating ‘plausible deniability.’
And that is where I am at now. After enduring about 30 minutes of being berated by a judge, who seemed more interested in our modification case that is not even in her jurisdiction, who never once asked my ex why his girlfriend was harassing me, my case was dismissed. No restraining order. My ex not only blatantly lied under oath, and made unsubstantiated false allegations against me, he refused to take responsibility for his actions. And the judge, well she just validated his actions, and gave him the green light to find another person to act as his patsy. It’s all very JFK/Lee Harvey Oswald….
So what now? Barring a wave of social reform holding people accountable (or judges), I will endeavor to write, and hope for change. We will continue to ignore our ex-spouses as best we can, and document, document, document. Everything. No matter how small or seemingly irrelevant. And I hope that one day they will discover some other hobby. Please…let that be soon…
Lycan Unleashed:
From the Back Cover:
Detective Astrid Holmes is a sensitive, a human capable of feeling the energy of otherworlders. When she is dispatched to the horrific murder scene of a local vampire, she expects it to be just another day on the job. But when evidence is stolen on her watch, she is removed—not only from the investigation, but from her job as a member of the Chicago police department’s paranormal unit. Astrid’s only hope of reinstatement lies with her ex co-worker and almost-lover, Lycan Mason Sanderson. But convincing the OWEA agent to let her assist with the investigation isn’t nearly as difficult as staying alive when the murderer realizes that Astrid may hold the key to unlocking his identity. Fighting to take down a killer could have deadly consequences for Astrid and Mason, but working together puts their already fragile relationship in jeopardy.
My Two Cents:
So, in the world of paranormal fiction/romance, I have been converted...I have officially switched teams. Go werewolves - or, in this case, Lycans!
Author Tiffany Allee creates a strong, albeit small-statured, lead female in Astrid Holmes (good choice for a last name. Can never go wrong with Holmes for a detective). Allee did not follow the norm for a female detective by avoiding the typical need for a masculine "I am a bad-ass female that carries a gun - just like a man" attitude, and refreshingly showed Atrid's dislike for being placed in danger, and preferring 'desk duty' to 'field work'. It did not detract from her being strong, and actually made her actions when she was in danger more impressive and admirable. I also appreciated the explanation of "otherworlders," which included vampires, imps, succubi, and sensitives - oh, and sexy lycans! - and how they live among the non-otherworlders (that would be you and I) in full view and in an awkward harmony. There did seem to be an edge of contention between the regular detectives (for lack of a better term) and otherworlders on the police force, but I wish it had been played up a little more. Perhaps, the "us against them but we are all still ultimately against the bad guys" tension. I was also a little distracted by the switch in terminology between "otherworlders" to "OW" to "oh-dub" - perhaps explain the correct pronunciation of "OW" as "oh-dub" in the beginning, then stick to OW. But that is just me, and others may not have that issue.
Mason is a strong, sexy, werewolf-esque romantic interest. It was clear that he had been avoiding a relationship with Astrid over a period of time, for his own reasons (which came out later in the story) and his struggle with being around her again. I wish there had been a little more of a build up of sexual tension, and frustration, between the two before the "big event."
All-in-all, this is a really interesting concept for a continuing storyline, and I was able to connect with the unique characters.
I give it 
and a 
