"So are you going to kiss me or should I just call a cab?"
He stood in front of her, dripping wet from the rain, still breathing heavy from his impromptu mile and a half run to her apartment. She just looked at him, not giving anything away. He understood her hesitancy; he had been completely inconsistent throughout the year they had known each other. He had insisted that they were only friends; that he felt nothing for her other than the witty rapport they shared. He had flaunted other women in front of her, knowing that she had feelings for him, and that it hurt her to see him give to other women – less deserving women – what she wanted for herself. It was cruel, really, and he hated himself for the way he had treated her, but not enough to change the behavior. Until now.
She had ended it. All of it. She had told him that she could not be in his life, in any way, shape, or form. Not as a friend, not an acquaintance, not even a name in his contact list. Nothing. During a ski trip, where she was just another friend a midst their circle, the realization that she warranted more struck her like lightening, and the spark ignited a path away from him.
That had been a turning point for him. The hand that reached into his chest, as he watched her turn her gaze from him, and focus on another man – one who recognized her as a precious jewel – ripped and pulled his heart, and tore it into a thousand pieces, defiling the newly drifted white snow.
It had taken him a month to even get her to answer his text messages, and agree to meet him for coffee. But he had handled it all wrong; his impatience at his own awakening spilling over into that one meeting. His arrogance that she would just throw up her arms, and welcome him into them after the months of pushing her away, had enraged her, causing her to pitch a string at expletives at him that he had not seen coming.
And so here he was – his heart on his sleeve, begging her to give him a chance to start over, to make amends, to give her everything that he now knew she deserved more than any other person in the world. But her eyes were suspicious of him, and his mind went back to the first time he had ever laid eyes on her.
If only, he cursed himself, if only I had handled it all differently.