Thursday, January 3, 2013

Day Three of the 250 Word Prompt

"Personally, I think they're a cult."

**Where are you?**

She presses send, and the text flies away with a “woosh.”  It is nearly midnight, as Maria frantically tries to find her best friend, Sheila. A myriad of strangers surrounds Maria, all clad in dark clothing – some even wear long black cloaks.  They stare at her, as if she is the one who is strange and out of place in her jeans, white t-shirt and light grey Vans.  

Glancing into some of their faces, Maria notices the deathly white skin, void of ever seeing sunlight, or blood!  Smiling as they pass her, in what appears to be an attempt to put her at ease, until she sees the fangs, at which point she feels she may become dinner.

Checking her cell phone again, she begins to worry that Sheila may not have made it through the group with the “funny eyes.”  Maria had gasped when they peered at her, some with amber color, others – blood red! - as she fought her way through the mass of bodies, who just snickered at her, enjoying her discomfort.

Finally, Sheila pops up next to her in line.  “This is great!” she exclaims, glancing around the other movie-going patrons.  “Some of these people go all-out!”

“Personally,” Maria quips, “I think they’re a cult.”  She half expects Sheila to give her “that look,” which denotes Maria is being overly harsh and judgmental.  It was sometimes amazing that they had been best friends since elementary school – they were so very different.  Maria never would have come here on her own, but Sheila loved the fringe of society (not that this was necessarily the fringe – only in Maria’s narrow view of the world).

Why, oh why, had she let herself be talked into this movie, on opening night?

Just then, the doors to the theater open; the sign above finally lit up.

“Now Seating:  Breaking Dawn 2”


  1. Hiya

    That's really good. I love the twist, not what i was expecting.


  2. Didn't see that coming! Love it. :)

  3. This was really interesting, and I do agree that the twilight people are ridiculous, very much like a cult. =]

    I like how you invite mystery into it, by grabbing the reader's attention with the main character's thoughts, moods, and opinions. Then twisting at the end.

    However, what I think is getting me, and it's just me, is that it's not the start of a story, because the answer to the mystery ends at the end of the 250 words, and it's not a query letter, because there's not a lot of information. It's seems like a super short story, or a hook, perhaps. I guess beause of the ending its hard for me to see where this would continue. I may not be making any sense, sorry! I think for the prompt, its fits.