Friday, January 4, 2013

Day Four of the 250 Word Prompt

"Two convenience store employees are stuck at work during a blizzard."

“Well, they just closed the main highway, Megan.   It looks like we are stuck here for a while.”

The elderly gentleman did not look over at his 19 year-old co-worker.  He was sure she was rolling her eyes at him.  She had done it a total of 27 times during the three hour shift they had worked so far.  Instead, the 73 year-old gazed out the front window, and watched as the overly large white flakes continued to accumulate outside the door.  He wondered at what point they would need to start shoveling the front sidewalk and entrance, and gathered from the heavy sigh, and loud “pop” of Megan’s annoying wad of gum, that she would not be volunteering for that particular task.

She sat on the stool, looking off into nothingness.  She disgusted him.  She had no gumption; a term she had recently rolled her eyes at, after, of course, he explained what it meant.  Her life’s ambition was to work in this mini-mart until she had enough money to follow her on-again, off-again boyfriend around, as his rock band traveled through various small towns, playing what they deemed passed as music, and sleeping in seedy motels that cost $23.95 a night, and included nearly-clean sheets.  What sickened him the most, however, was the dreaming look she got in her eyes whenever she talked about her greasy-haired, acne-infested boyfriend, Mad Dog; of course the elderly man had known the little shit since he was two, and went by his given name, Petey.


  1. This is great. An old man and a young girl! What a duo. I would never have thought about having that combination. :)

  2. Thanks, Lori!! I really appreciate the encouragement!

  3. Great opening and original setting and choice of characters. I got into the imagery immediately.

  4. I love this. It's really creative, I'm impressed.

    These types of relationships, between man and woman, old and young, quarantined in a small environment sturggling for a common goal (making money, or just going home) really interests me, personally.

    You do an excellent job of describing the characters through the old man's thoughts. I would like to see the old man have a name, just to make it more personal. (I love that you used "gumption"--very characteristic!)

    This captures a lot, and really brings me in. I love it, if I haven't said that before. =] What I'd like to see is, after extending the old man's thoughts on the young girl, to have a break and then start the scenario from the beggining with the young girl's thoughts as the narration.