Inspiration
The dance of the trees
I have a sitting area in my bedroom with large French doors that lead out onto a small deck. My day typically starts and ends on the plush red loveseat that faces the glass barrier to the outside. It is a beautiful view, no matter what the time of year. The full foliage of the summer, making the woods a dense forest; the rebirth of life and soft pastels in the spring; the vibrant colors of fall that shift and sway, and eventually fall to the ground; and yes, even the barren trees of winter, devoid of leaves or life, showing off their crooked appendages, allowing a glimpse of life beyond the wooded area of our private enclave. No matter the time of year, I can find focus and inspiration.
I chose this spot because it is quiet, and I can concentrate without much distraction (I say much because I am still a mom – there is always distraction). When I get tired, or need a break from looking at the computer screen, or emptying my favorite blue gel pens and filling legal pads, I can look out the window and find something that brings me back around. This morning is no different.
My daughter informed me on the drive to school that it is the first day of spring. Naturally, she believes that since it is written on the calendar, the weather should be nice, the sun always shining, and winter a forgotten memory. It is still cold (it has reached nearly 40 degrees), the wind is still brisk, but the sun is shining, so not a complete loss. I have been sitting here this morning, going through the usual daily work-ups, checking my calendar for deadlines, forever editing, and trying to get some new stuff down on paper. I have been hunched over my computer for the past 2 ½ hours. My back is tight, my brain is screaming at me for more coffee, and my inspiration has left the room, and is wandering aimlessly through the house.
I relaxed against the comfortable cushions of my red couch (did I mention it is red?), and looked out the window. Since my bedroom is on the uppermost level of the house, I am closer to the tops of the trees, where the branches start to thin, becoming spindly fingers reaching into the blue sky, poking the passing clouds. My eyes focused on something new, something I had not seen recently among the varying degrees of brown in the woods.
They are red (of course), and peppering the branches just outside my reach. Blooms have attached themselves to the long arms of the trees, bursting free of their winter hibernation, breaking up the monotony of the winter wear. My eyes are drawn to them, and I wonder how long they have been there. Did they come out in the middle of the night, or with the rising sun? Have they been there for a while, and I have been that unobservant of them? Or have they been shy, peeking out only a little at a time, self-conscious of being the first to appear at the party, and wearing bright red to boot?
The answer does not really matter. It made me smile to see them, to welcome them into the picture frame of my daily existence. The wind and the trees seemed happy with the blooms arrival, as they danced together, swaying softly to unheard music; an unknown-to-humans spring ritual of beckoning life from the deep sleep of winter.
Where I was lacking motivation and inspiration just moments ago, I am renewed. Thank you, Mother Nature. Now…back to work….
Lately, social media has become inundated with inspirational posters that pop up on friends Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest boards. Those little gems that remind one that life may indeed suck, but “keep your head up and enjoy the suck.” We collect the words of wisdom, re-tweet, re-post, and add to the applicable board. And the inspiration lasts as long as the act of saving it.
Recently, I have been sick. I succumbed to that horrible cold bug going around, lingering far too long, causing coughs and sneezes at the most inopportune of times. It leaves me still sleepy in the morning, no matter how long I have been in bed, and makes it impossible to actually focus and prioritize before mid-morning when the fog finally lifts, and I can properly view the ever growing list of priorities stacking up. It has been a tough two weeks.
During this period of infirmity, I lost sight of my priorities, and have allowed others to make those determinations for me. I have given up control over my life, become angry, sad, confused, and miserable by taking a stand. A stand that never leads anywhere except to another stand, another fight, never actually gaining on a resolution. It is all about the fight. The issues are meaningless, they change randomly, and have very little importance in the whole scheme of things. And the worst part is - I participated without actually taking a step back to determine if the fight was actually worth fighting.
I was checking one of my social media outlets, and there was yet another inspirational message posted by a good friend. Its timeliness is almost eerie; it pretty much sums up what I have been trying to come to grips with all day. An overwhelming need to fight, to right the wrong, to explain the misconception, and to beg them to just leave me the hell alone. I have been struggling with doing things I have no interest in doing, in order to “fight the good fight,” only to fall farther and farther behind on the things that I need to be doing – the things I want to be doing, and the things that bring happiness into my life, without the constant contention. But, alas, I am a fighter.
Yes, I am a fighter. And part of being a successful fighter, is picking your battles. So, with the words of wisdom now firmly rooted in my psyche, soon to become a printout I tack on the wall emblazoned with “New Life Motto” across the top in red Sharpie (yes, red!), I will endeavor to fight the good fight. I will no longer let others hi-jack my life for their entertainment. I have important work to do, and important people to dedicate my time and energy that appreciate it.
I can no longer help those who are determined to be miserable, and seek to make others around them miserable. I have neither the time nor energy to argue with them when they refuse to see the forest through the trees, seek out the light, or just move on and find their own happiness. I no longer care how much they pay, or how many people they are able to sucker into “believing” their skewed truths. I have gazed upon the lush forest, wrapped myself in the light, found happiness in my family, and rediscovered a long-lost love. The most important thing I have accomplished is I no longer hate them – I pity them. It has been a long journey for me to get to this place, but I at least put one foot in front of the other until it got easier to step into the life I have been dreaming of for years. I cannot make anyone take those steps in their own lives – no matter how much I try to convince them there is contentment and fulfillment outside of making someone miserable in an attempt to make oneself less so. It is unsustainable. It is as fleeting as the inspirational messages that are re-posted, re-tweeted, and saved never to be reconsidered or acted on.
So I am all about making a difference in MY life, and hoping that translates into making a difference in others. Where it works – great! Where it fails – it is not my problem to fix.
For the record – here is my new motto:
LIVE IT, LEARN IT, KNOW IT, LOVE IT!!
Happy March!! I am stealing an idea from my dear friend, and having a blog contest!
Here is the deal:
I would like to get between 15-20 new followers during the month of March (okay, so I am starting a little early…I’m really excited!!!). I am giving away free stuff if you help me!! How awesome is that?!
The drawing will be random, but you can put your name in the proverbial hat many times in order to increase your chances of winning…here are the rules:
Follow my blog: Click follow on the side, and let me know in the comments that you are following me.
Share my blog on Facebook or Twitter: You can do this many, many times. And the more you do, the more often your name goes in the pot. So, let me know in the comments when you share me, and whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or both! (or some other social media, such as SheWrites, etc.)
Add my blog to your blog: If you link my blog to your blog, let me know! If I have not already done so, I will add your blog to my “People I follow,” AND put your name in the hat for the winnings!!
Simple, right? Want to know what you are playing for?
I have three gifts I will be giving away:
15 new followers:
1. A $20 gift card to Amazon.com
2. A $20 gift card to Starbucks
3. A $20 iTunes gift card
If I get 20 followers or more by the end of March, I will increase the gift cards to $30!
So, share, share, share…and you may win, win, win!!!
